My Nightmare

I'm going to brief you on my history of health and go back to last summer.. when my worst nightmare began to creep up on me. I'm not quite sure what month it started, but I'm going to say July since that is when my world changed. At the time I was 27 and I think anyone who knows me would say that I was very fit and healthy. I do pilates 3-4 times a week so my bones are extremely strong. I love to cook and focus on eating healthy. I love taking walks with my boyfriend and going on 7-12 mile bike rides around the new city we had recently settled into. Every 4th of July my friends and I head up to Northern Michigan to my best friends parents house on the water. It's my favorite place to be in the world. The air is fresh and crisp, the evening bonfire flame crackles twelve feet high and the night sky's are full of shooting stars. Memories from this place is what molded me into who I am. This trip however was different. The heat of summer 2012 was brutal and my body did not like it. My anxiety suddenly heightened in heat which I had never experienced before. My skin would burn to red in just minuets. And for the first time, I noticed I wasn't eating as much as I usually do while under the roof of an Italian family. None of this made sense. Which left me feeling like I was a crazy person because of my anxiety once more. About two weeks later is when my left knee began to hurt in a way that felt like I needed to deeply stretch the back of my knee. The pain worsened so I stopped working out and started elevating my leg at night since it would swell throughout the day. Then the pain grew so strong and I'm not kidding when I say, I was living on liver killing doses of Advil and drinking straight alcohol before bed to sleep through the pain. This all happened in about 3 weeks... and I was in the emergency room at 2 am screaming in pain. An infection known as Ostiomylitis, (an infection in the bone) which I contracted at age 5 from a brake in my femur bone had come back. It also came back when I was 12. So this was nothing new, however it was by far unimaginable to ever return. Cracking my femur open to clean out the infection was the only fix. The symptoms I had when I was 12 were a blurr to me so everything this time around was new to me. Along with having to stop my busy, athletic, healthy life.  I'm not going to write every detail of my nightmare but I was "crippled" as I refer to it for 3 months, at home on my couch helpless. Followed by a year of "getting my strength back" and oral antibiotics to kill the infection. This brings me to today... I have noticed that when my anxiety kicks in my heart starts to race. My therapist has told me this is another form of being anxious. The doctors have run tests to conclude that it's my anxiety as well. I couldn't help but to think that maybe it's because of all the drugs doctors have running through my blood in the past 5 months to rid this infection. However, this past Wednesday something wasn't right. My heart would not stop racing for 5 hours, so I finally went BACK to the emergency room. I swore, I never thought I'd have to see this place again. After many tests, they concluded that my heart is super healthy (yay!) but that it was racing faster than it would if it was just from my anxiety. They also said it was very smart for me to come to the ER because it was serious. Your heart isn't supposed to race that long or fast even with anxiety. So like any doctor or hospital would, they gave me some meds, told me to cut down on my sugars and caffeine (which isn't much at all) released me and told me to follow up with a cardiovascular doctor. Which gives me a great idea for my next post! It's been a few days, I haven't had any racing heart moments and I see my doctor Wednesday. For anyone with anxiety or anyone who knows anything about Ostiomylitis, perhaps this story might help in some way.

Hungry for Change

Last night I watched a Documentary Film called Hungry for Change. I found it on Netflix and my boyfriend and I watched the entire documentary in silenced shock. Did you know that the Average American eats 200 pounds of sugar a year!? And that's less than what children are consuming. Or that fat free foods are actually making us fatter? It blew my mind. I recommend this film to everyone! After the film ended, I got in bed thinking there is so much I can do to change how I feel and look on a daily basis. So, I have decided to go back to my Juicing habit, which I used to do daily. Since most people cannot consume the right nutritional foods daily with our busy schedules, it's recommended that we juice our greens and colorful vegetables to get the nutrients our bodies were designed for. I also used to be vegan back in 2010, with the help of Alicia Silverstone and her incredible book The Kind Diet. I long for how I felt then, inside & out. It was the first time I ever craved Beets, because they tasted like the earth. I never thought I would like anything that tasted like the earth, or dirt! It was also the first time I ever really understood what eating for energy felt like. However, I'll revisit that idea after the first 30 days of this juicing cleanse has passed. I'll keep my blog updated on mine and my boyfriends progress, since he's decided to do it with me! Which for him is a huge step. Juicing vegetables is definitely not something he jumps up and down to do. It'll be a month full of knowledge for us both. A quote from this documentary really stuck out in my mind. I'd like to share it with you and use it as my motivation.. "Whatever you hold in your mind on a consistent basis is exactly what you will experience in your life." -Anthony Robbins

My first post ever...

Welcome to Anxiously Living Simple!
Did you know that Anxiety affects over 40 million people in the United States age 18 and older? Did you know that I'm one of them!? Unfortunately, that's a lot of people that know exactly what goes on in my mind everyday. For the past year, creating a blog has been in the back of my mind just calling my name. At first, I wanted to have a blog about My First Home, a cute bungalow my boyfriend and I bought last year. Then I thought it would be fun to have a blog about using the most of a small space through decorating and organizing tips. I also thought a blog about being green would be fun! The many tricks to save money and recycling ideas for every room in your house. I could go on and on with the many ideas I've had until this morning, when I knew what I needed my blog to be about. It needed to be about a girl who is a hair stylist, an assistant, a Pilate's instructor in training, a crafter at craft shows, an etsy shop owner, a decorator, a dairy free & gluten free eater, a designer, a shopaholic, a girlfriend, a daughter, a multiple dog owner, a cooking lover, and a Gemini. It needed to be about wanting to do everything while keeping my life & my mind as simple as I could. So that's what I'm going to do. I'll give you my tips on organizing my small bungalow home, and share with you yummie recipes I come across. I'll fill you in on the topics we discuss around the dinner table for girls night. I'll tell you about Green ideas I come across. I'll take pictures of my adventures. I'll also share with you my "crazy moments" as I call them of my anxiety and hope that you'll share yours as well. And of course, about living the simple life. I'll do it all. Why not, right?